digitalbutterfly

Line 'em up.

2008-11-06T15:43:00.004-06:00

I remember Richard Nixon back in '74
And the final scene at the White House door
And the staff lined up to say good-bye
Tiny tear in his shifty little eye
He said nobody knows me
Nobody understands
These little people were good to me
Oh, I'm gonna shake some hands...

Somebody line 'em up
Line 'em all up
Line 'em up
Line 'em all up

At that time my heart was all broke
I looked like ashes and smelled like smoke
And I turned away from my loving kind
Tried to leave my body and live in my mind
But it's much too much emotion
To hold it in your hand
They've got waves out on the ocean
They're gonna wear away the land...

Somebody line 'em up
Line 'em all up
Line 'em up
Line 'em all up

Oh I've seen corn in Kansas
And I've seen picket fences
And certain cowboy dances
I've gone lining up for shows
I've been safely placed in rows
Sure I know how it goes...

Another day goes by
Little time machine
I'm breaking my brain
Over what it might mean
Just to claim the time
And to turn away
To make today, today.

Who waits for you,
Lonely, tired, old toad?
It's your life laid out before you
Like the broken white line down the center of the goddamned road...

Somebody line 'em up
Line 'em all up
Line 'em up
Line 'em all up

Yeah, big moon landing
People all standing up
Smiles for the loved ones
They go walking on down the aisles
Each re-engages stepping into the sun
I watch them turn like pages
One by one by one

Get ready for a surprise!

2008-10-21T16:07:00.008-05:00

I was a little distracted at the airport today. A friend was filming me when the customs agent asked if I had any fruit and I mistakenly thought he asked me how long we had until the presidential election:

I am so freaked out. I can't spend any more time fussing with electoral vote maps and breakdown polls. Must study voter's guide and focus on sample ballot. And wads of clay. And a little spray paint.

Don't Vote

2008-10-05T15:08:00.005-05:00

We went in after dark.

2008-08-31T01:25:00.007-05:00

Found the key right where she said it'd be. Tried my luck with the security system - first time's the charm. Slid down to the basement where we could turn on a few lights. Beer in the fridge. Chocolates in Czech crystal. Huge TV. We made ourselves at home.

The door next to the TV begged to be opened. I can't resist the smell of chlorine. We left the overhead lights off, but I just had to try the color-changing lights underwater in the hot tub. And swimming in front of the one in the pool made groovy mermaid-like shadows on the walls. I think Sinatra was kept at a low enough volume the neighbors didn't hear it.

We made the decision to spend the night in one of the basement bedrooms (after riding the elevator, the electric wheelchair, and the vibrating recliners). Wireless was easy enough to hijack with the pretty little laptop on the kitchen counter, so...

Hello from a place that is not mine.

Come on...

2008-08-25T23:14:00.000-05:00

Work, damn you.

This is a test.

2008-08-25T23:06:00.000-05:00

This is only a test.

This is a test.

2008-08-25T22:37:00.000-05:00

This is only a test.

Test Test

2008-08-24T15:18:00.000-05:00

Test
Test test test, test test test test test test test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test test test test test. Test test test, test test test test test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test test test. Test test test, test test test test. Test test test, test test test test.

2006-07-17T21:44:00.000-05:00

(waiting for in the mail)
1. boots (tomorrow!)
2. dresses
4. white bra

2006-07-16T03:38:00.000-05:00

(favorite videos)
1. 12345 from Sesame Street, mixed with some Yellow Submarine
2. Tripod - gamer musicomedy
3. Russian dude climbing all over the place

2006-07-16T03:21:00.000-05:00

(favorite soundfiles)
1. nascar.mp3 - The South: Have you been?
2. fuck.mp3 - Fuck the fucking fuckers!
3. yomammy.mp3 - These fists is lethal weapons.

2006-07-14T17:03:00.000-05:00

(things to tell my mother when she harasses us about getting married)
1. we're both actually gay and fighting over who has to have the sex change. marriage and child bearing will have to wait.
2. we already got married in Vegas.
3. j's folks would prefer we don't get married, and we can only please one of you at a time. maybe we should get married, but move back to Oregon?

2006-07-14T17:02:00.000-05:00

(t-shirts that need to be made)
1. Stop Fucking Pro-Lifers
2. I (heart) Pryopism
3. Naked = Love
4. catass

2006-07-14T17:01:00.000-05:00

(really bad ideas)
1. drinking a glass of lube
2. Depends Undergarments party
3. Edward 40(oz)-hands (thanks, Jeff&Ben)

2006-07-14T16:40:00.000-05:00

(words i've made up)
1. conspicious (suspicious and conspicuous)
2. malarious (contagiously funny)

2006-07-14T03:58:00.000-05:00

(to buy before DefCon)
1. maryjanes @ craft store
2. white ribbon @ craft store
3. hairbands
4. AA batteries (lots)
5. shirt(s) for J
6. crazy hair glue for J

2006-07-14T03:57:00.000-05:00

(to do before DefCon)
1. borrow/locate luggage/hatbox
2. test red hair with lights
3. finish and test white hair set (dreads, LEDs, ribbons)
4. get temptoo of circuitry (test for SpankCandy show, reapply for DefCon)
5. deposit paychecks & get traveller's checks/check bank account
6. wipe laptops/phones(?)

2006-07-10T16:23:00.000-05:00

lists of lists
that last post sat for too long here. depressing.

i'm looking into a new bloggin' tool. it needs to be more cross-referencey and interactivey for what i wanna do. until then, crawl over to myspace to keep up.

2006-03-29T03:48:00.000-06:00

i can't fix this
in the dream, i was watching the news. these things were happening on the other side of a pane of glass. something fell from the sky. someone felt a horrible burning sensation all over their body. flesh was ripped from bone in a split second. i was watching from the other side of the glass. there was nothing i could do but see it.

i didn't drive until i was 17. i was terrified of it. i told people it was like walking around with a loaded gun in your hand. or running around with one. i put it off as long as i could. i'm still terrified most times when driving, particularly in residential neighborhoods, where children and small animals could pop out from behind anything, at any time.

i was in my hometown. on a street i knew well. something fell from the sky.

i saw it pass in front of the car, but had only enough time to take my foot off the gas. that sickening noise. that dullest of all thuds. it happened so fast. there was nothing i could do but see it.

i drove for so many years knowing i was beating the odds having avoided this, having avoided even being a passenger for this moment. does this mean i get another decade or two before it happens again?

i've never taken a life before.

in the dream, in one second of the dream that i lingered on for several minutes, i saw a young woman with a look of complete horror on her face, just before what happened happened.

2006-03-19T14:30:00.000-06:00

so the thing is
someone got me thinking about how much of my life was being stored on the internet, and, being me, i amplified the concern into uber paranoia, and deleted it all. it was cleansing and wonderful, and it isn't like i can't go back and make new ones whenever the mood strikes me.
nothing personal, peeps.

lj doesn't let me comment now that i've got a line through my name, but it still lets me read your locked entries, for now, individually. i must learn all about RSS feeds
so i don't miss my friendspage.

2005-01-20T13:37:00.000-06:00

mmhmm.
i'd rather be over here anyway.

2004-11-30T13:10:00.000-06:00

books!
don't click this at work, click it at home, when you can crank the sound that is required for enjoyment. i still think i like the public apology better, but keeping a sense of humor is important.

2004-11-18T10:53:00.000-06:00

click, print
a new sheet of stickers for you. click here.

2004-11-17T09:04:00.000-06:00

gettin' local with Vokal
my city council representative, James Vokal, is a real schmutz. i've been reading up on him because of how blue-voting my particular neighborhood is. city council members don't run under their party affiliation, and, as we've all been recently made painfully aware of, people generally don't bother to educate themselves before an election. i figure, if i can show enough people what a red-state right-winger he is, we could get someone better come his next election. i know, i'm dreaming, but i've got to try. it starts here.

Jim Vokal is against domestic partnership benefits for Omaha Police officers. these benefits are the same ones in the same shape, as what i get from josh's work. Jim Vokal says giving benefits to domestic partners goes against Nebraska's constitution, amended in 2000 not to recognize same-sex marriages or unions. so, is my health care unconstitutional? does josh's work break the law by helping me pay for my ER costs?

Jim Vokal has been part of the effort to keep a park from being named after a controversial and much-adored by me Nebraska Legislator because he claims that said Senator hates white people, Republicans and Catholics. now, heh. you know me. strongly disliking Republicans and especially Catholics is really up my alley, and i may even use the word 'hate' from time to time when i've had a few drinks, and frankly, i'm not real proud of my white heritage. so, funny. but Ernie Chambers has worked with Catholic charities - run by Republican coworkers - and has recently joined forces with ex-football coach turned Senator Tom Osborne to keep casinos out of our state. If you aren't familiar with Senator Chambers, you should educate yourself on that man, he's amazing. He attends work in jeans and a t-shirt, like he's actually ready to work, and never can be spotted in the lobby with the -ists in there. he's present for all the votes, he debates all of them, he never lets anything just slide under the radar in this state. agree with him or not, you must be thankful for his presence. he is the checks and balances of the NE State Legislature.

on the "better a bleeding heart than none at all" end, Jim Vokal also thinks Omaha has a problem with "aggressive transient behavior in the Old Market." specifically, he says he wants to defend the businesses that think consumers are made too uncomfortable by homeless people asking for spare change. a few notes on this, josh and i live in the area being discussed, and we've been asked for change probably 5 or 6 times since moving here over a year ago. twice, we've offered the asker our takeout food and they were blissful in accepting it and we could have a brief conversation. it doesn't happen very often - especially compared to other cities - and i've yet to meet my first rude Omaha panhandler. Vokal wants cops to arrest more homeless people, and won't even entertain a thought of helping the homeless or looking into the shortage of shelters and job training and low cost child care and subsidized housing and so on that we have here. just arrest the fuckers, let the shoppers be comfortable.

so. deny City Police officers' spouses health care because of their gender. don't let a neighborhood name a park after the only person who represents them in the state government because you're afraid of him. arrest the homeless for being homeless. moral values? hardly. let's smoke him out.

2004-11-16T11:05:00.000-06:00

a plea to the rest of the world
i'm not really the kind of person to sit and dwell. i haven't been that person in many years. i get upset, i get mad, then i do something about it. no matter how small, i do something. for the past couple weeks, i've been fiercely focused on pushing the non-republicans to get their shit in gear, to recognize that there are things that need to be done, and that anyone can do them. i've been racking my brain thinking of ways i could help us, help all of us. when i can't think of anything new to take action with, i've been painting. mostly political messages, messages of peace. trying to turn depressed democrats into inspired and raging progressives. eating at the places where people talk about these things. reading blogs of people who live them.

last night i got the brick-in-face feeling that everyone i've been talking to has been experiencing. i just sat there, staring at the amber glow from the XMradio (the only source of leftist broadcasting i can get here). i feel pointless. i feel useless. i read this and Air America broadcast the audio portion. i wanted to throw up, i really did. i wanted to purge that information from myself, the sound of the gun, the cocky remark from the marine. i didn't. i know i need it in me to keep going. i know that barfing out any knowledge of how bad it is over there makes me one of the willfully ignorant masses, the church/sports/military types, the people who voted for Bush.

i read the riverbend blog and the line "WHERE IS EVERYONE?" sticks in my head. really, where is everyone? can the UN take a stance against the US please? can someone else help us, help them, please? this hole won't be filled back up again by the same people who are digging it now, i think we're all aware of that. so who will help the people of Iraq, the people who are being punished for being born there? and why can't you start helping sooner? can someone outside of the US stand up to G.W. Bush please? don't you think it's time now?